Leave all the tension at the door

I once read a story about a man who had a lot of problems at work. However, when he goes back to his family every day, he said that he will leave all his troubles at the door. He metaphorically called it, hanging his problems at a trouble tree outside the door to his house. That story came back to mind yesterday because I was having a bad day at work. A system which falls under my responsibility will be launched come the new year. However, there are many issues pertaining this system and since it's going to affect everyone at work, I can expect a lot of calls as a result of people having problems with it. The problem is that I don't think I'll be able to deal with all the requests, all the problems that need solving and the zilion things that needs to be done. These things take time and some people just cannot and will not understand it. Sometimes, it is good to put yourself in other people's shoes and try to look things from their perspectives. Being a service provider gives a totally outlook on how to deal with people on various issues and matters. However, it's just that lately I see the IT service providers are being perceived as those causing for high costs in a company's expenditure. I just want to see a company operate just one hour without any computer, network, phone, email. Nothing. Just paper and pen. See how long they can last.

Anyway, I'm ranting off the topic. What I want to say is that, even though after a bad and hectic day at work, we shouldn't bring those problems back home to our family. Our problems do not belong with our family. Yesterday, I was racing at high speed from the office to home with the music blaring loud on the car speakers. But it was when I saw Haziq, smiling and laughing with my wife, only then I can also smile and feel relaxed. A child can have such a strong effect on us. The problems as though melted away for the moment. Whatever it is, problems will also be present in our lives. Only a dead person doesn't have problems, well perhaps a different set of problems, depending on your beliefs. :)

Off to watch ALIAS now.

PS: The family in KL is having a celebration dinner at PJ Hilton for Ucop's success. I recalled going there when I was younger. Maybe one day, it will be easier for us in Kerteh here to join in such occassions.

Congratulations, Ucop

Today PMR results was announced nationwide. My youngest brother, Ucop (younger by 12 years) sat for the exams earlier this year. I SMS him earlier in the day, to just be cool and be thankful for whatever God had decided for him. I'm sure he had worked hard, studied late into the night and did his best. Alhamdulillah, Ucop got excellent results, obtaining 8As. Ucop, if you're reading this, just want to tell you, enjoy the moment but this is only a small step towards the future. The path is so much winding and challenging. I know that you're matured enough to realise this and not to be too taken up by the moment. Nevertheless, you have earned this reward and I don't think any gift can replace the feeling of satisfaction you must be feeling now. So no need to give any presents lah. :) Keep up the good work and good luck entering Form Four, and hopefully, a new school as well!!

Still Here In KL

We're supposed to be on our way to Kerteh at the moment but our plans just went haywired. It all started on Christmas Eve, when I went to bed early, around 8.30 because we want to start journey to Bidor at around 3 am. I felt kind of weird around my legs and arms, like lenguh2 after a few hours inside the gym. Didn't think much about it but along the way, while driving, I started feeling discomfort. My head was feeling heavy and I was a bit flushed around the face. I dreaded that a fever is falling upon me. We reached Bidor at 11.15 am and I went straight to bed. Didn't help much until I swallowed two pills of Panadol. A sweat broke and the head didn't feel that heavy anymore. Come night, the same discomfort is felt again, took Panadol some more and in the morning, I felt better. Oh yes, the reason we were in Bidor is because Awi's sister, Nyah will be performing the Haj this year with her husband, Abang Ngah. And Awi's parents will be 'babysitting' their 5 children in Kangar. As we couldn't send them to the the airport, up until Bidor just have to suffice lah.

Yesterday afternoon, we then drove to KL, bound for Bangsar. Have to mention this here. We didn't tell anyone except Ucop that we'll be in KL. So, once reached home, Mak & Cu were pleasantly surprised while Adiknor and Abah were equally as well. It's proven that Ucop can definitely keep a secret from everyone!! That night, we went to majlis tahlil of my grand anutie who died last Saturday. It was the seventh night of tahlil so I was happy to be able to make it. During the night, I started feeling the same discomfort, swallowed a couple more Panadol, and the fever subsided.

Throughout the night, I was feeling unwell and this morning, I decided to go and see the doctor for medication. I wanted to get MC because I don't think I'm in the best condition to drive all the way to Kerteh later during the day. He didn't want to give me the MC saying I should get better by today. During Adiknor's birthday lunch, I began to feel pain in my limbs and it was getting so cold. My body temperature shot up to 40 degrees Celcius. I put myself under blanket to sweat it out but I was unsuccessful. Hence, I made the decision to stay put in KL and either get MC or unpaid leave tomorrow since I don't have any leave left.

I still feel shitty, my head is pounding and I feel weak all over. I really dread driving home tomorrow but I guess I have to do it nevertheless. Another reason why I want to move to KL as soon as possible. All these travelling will worsen me sooner or later. :)

Back early from training

Don't tell the boss but the training at at a neighbouring plant finished early and here I am, in the comfort of my room at home, at 2.15 in the afternoon. Must make the most of this valuable free time. Hehehe. Suddenly I realised that I haven't updated my blog for a few days already.

The training which I attended with Wan, was mostly for the IT people. Within our organisation, the IT people are all facing some sort of predicament. According to the plan presented to us about 8 months ago, the whole IT operations, involving almost 600 people, will be outsourced to another company. The problem is that not many of us are convinced that this new company will be able to handle the overall IT operations of one of the largest corporation in the country. As it is also, the IT people are struggling to keep up. The change of management and transition to another setup will surely cause distress to the people involved and disruption to overall service of the many companies within the corporation.

I am also involved in this scenario. I changed skill group from Process Engineering to IT because I really like the field and I know I can be really good at it. I am enjoying my time at the moment, with the people and also the work. However, to take up the offer to the new company, which by the way has not been presented to us in anyway, will require an element of gambling on my side. I don't know how that company will be, what the culture is going to be like, who my new bosses will be, what is my future with this new company, will I be easily laid off if they ran out of money and won't be able to pay my salary? I've come across this one company, where its staff has to work without any salary being paid to them for 3 months. I am afraid this could happen with the new company. The risk is higher because the return is higher. That is the maxim of investing, higher risk, higher profit. My current employer at least is a good paymaster which I can be sure of because if the company goes under, basically the whole country will be in trouble. So, I'm kind of reassured by that fact.

So, what do I do? Do I take the risk of doing something I like but I don't really hell know what the work is going to be like in the new setup. I guess I won't mind that much if I'm in KL because the HQ is there, the main people is there and I suppose it is better to be near where the key people are. Instead, I'm here on the East Coast and I doubt that I will meet the top management very often. These kind of things are important if you're working in a big corporation. And, one more thing, sorry if I offend any of you working in KL, the work here is so much critical and exhausting. You have plants running 24/7 and you just need to make sure that they can maintain operations. If not, you'll really get screwed if their PCs suddenly crashed or they cannot access their mail during a weekend. So, unless there's higher pay for people working here, I don't think I should join the new company.

What if I remain with my current employer? Not too bad, just that I won't have any work or position. Some people might not mind that but I don't think I'll survive too long in that way. My brain will go mushy. So, I need to get hold of a vacant position, of which I can do the work and like as well. My main concern is that I don't want that position to be here in the East Coast. It's back to my original intention of wanting to set up base in KL. I don't want to work here for any longer that I need to. I've put up 4 years of my life here so I think it's time to go back where I belong. The situation gets more complicated because Awi is working here and it won't be easy for her to get a release from her boss. Apparently, there's a lot of her colleagues who are waiting to get a transfer in KL. I know that with her skills and experience, she can find work within the corporation easily in KL. But just because her boss won't release her, she'll be stuck here until she is allowed to go. Isn't that a sucky situation?

I promised Awi that I won't leave her and Haziq here all alone. But what if I can secure position in KL before she can get a transfer to KL? Do I decline that position? Do I accept and then commute every weekend back here? I know all these depends on a lot of things but I need to think about them now. It's such a headache and it's so difficult to make the correct choices for the benefit of your family and yourself.

For the time being, the only thing I can do is just pray to Allah for the best possible outcome. It is a challenge and what is life without decisions to be made and problems to solve? I just hope I'll be able to make the correct decision when the time comes, that's all.

Turning 27!

It was my 27th birthday yesterday, 14 December 2003. It's not such an immensely long period of time, only 27 years since I landed on this Earth. In the hereafter, 27 years will be just like a blink of an eye. But I suppose I've gone through quite a lot in the past 27 years. Abah commented to me when he called to wish me Happy Birthday, that he only got married at 28. I've already got a son at 27. Hehehe. Talk about being advanced.

Anyway, didn't do anything special on this supposedly special day. Came to work but my god, I was so not in the mood. The family in Bangsar joined Abah's office trip to Kuala Selangor and from what I heard, it was really a fun trip. Its been a while since we went somewhere as a family. Hopefully, we can do something like that once in a while. Of course, it's nice to be at the house in Bangsar, eating together etc, but going on a trip or holiday with your extended family, it's kind of like old times when we were small. Oh well, good things never last and you just have to rely on memories to relive it.

Awi told me that she wants to bring me out to dinner somewhere, just the three of us (Haziq will act as the chaperone). I suggested Awana Kijal Resort, that's the only closest classy place around here. What I didn't know was that she had been scheming with Shai, Am, Junai and other close friends on having a surprise birthday for me!! On our way out to Awana, Awi got an emergency call from Shai, saying that Junai was vomitting and feeling sick. Well, Junai had complained a few times to me during the day that he wasn't feeling well so I didn't suspect anything lah. So, we got to Shai's house, and he came running out. While driving up to the house, I noticed some people sitting around, which was rather suspicious to me. Come on lah, if someone is like sick near you, wouldn't you help by doing something like sending the poor guy to the clinic or something? Well, being the sharp guy I am, I had a strong feeling something was up, went close to the door, heard some soft voices and Junai stifling a laugh, I knew it then, they're having a surprise party for me. My first thought, "Oh well, there goes my Western dinner down the drain!!". :)

Anyway, there were cake, candles, nasi dagang (a Terengganu delicacy) and spaghetti-ala Shai. For entertainment the host had prepared a home-made karaoke parlour right in his living room. It has been a while since I did something like last night. So, all in all, a great time indeed, in the middle of sleepy Kerteh town.

Departmental Joy

The department (Finance + ICM) had an internal 'feast' to celebrate the Hari Raya (what else is there to celebrate in this month?). In previous years, usually an open house was organised by the dept in which we invited colleagues from other department to attend a feast. However, we decided to have a smaller scale 'party', which I think was more enjoyable and also there was more time to enjoy all the food. Together with the event, we also celebrate our big boss (Mr Patrick) birthday which fell on that day. I wanted to join as well in contributing to the party because my birthday will be in a few day's time, so just this once, I'd like to share it with friends at work.

I really like the department in which I'm working in now. It's a considerably smaller department that the one I was attached to before, so everyone knows everyone. I can't even remember all the operators' names when I was with the Operations dept, there were too many of them. We also do things together more often among Finance & ICM staff. Earlier this year, we had a Family outing in Kuantan, which was probably my first and last time I'll be able to join. It's rather a shame because Awi and Haziq couldn't attend it because Awi had just given birth to Haziq and they're all in Awi's hometown. It'd be kind of cool to bring the whole family and take part in all the events that were organised. Add to that, the numerous times we had lunch together, there is a good sense of togetherness among us. I'm not sure that I'd find the same sort of family spirit when I move to another company and department.

So, in the meantime, might as well enjoy what I have left. I've mentioned before the good relationship that I have with my colleagues in ICM. And there were times of conflict with the people on the first floor, but it's more like a big brother-small brother kind of thing. It doesn't last and at the end of the day, we realised that everyone just wants to do their jobs well. As the saying goes, all good things will come to an end. I believe things will change for me and for us in the coming months and while I'm not afraid of change, the apprehension is still there. Who knows what will happen next?

Lazy Afternoon

Don't tell the boss but I'm lazing around at the moment in the office. My notebook encountered some problem around noon, it became slow and suddenly upon restarting it, I just cannot log into the network. How ironic isn't it? The IT guy even have some problems with his PC. Anyway, I couldn't do much work without my notebook (just shows how much I use it in my daily work), so I did some 5S on my very messy work area. I removed unwanted paper and documents, cleaned the area a bit and pray that it will remain in such pristine condition for many more months.

So at the moment, I'm waiting for the time to go home around 5 and at the same time, downloading some apps for my new gadget, Treo 600. It's a pda-phone manufactured by Handspring, which runs on Palm OS. My other colleagues like Pocket PC so much, even Am is contemplating to buy the latest product by O2, XDAII. I supppose we're all just PDA or gadget freaks and considering we're in Terengganu, we must be among the most high-tech people here. Hehehe, no insult to the locals, okay?

We all each had a session with the boss yesterday which he said is part of his coaching for all the staff. It was quite good for him to do that because we were to share our concerns and get feedback from his as our superior. He also doesn't mind for us to give comments on his performance because he intends to improve and become better. I kind of like it for the boss to be like that because we can just be open and speak our minds with him. Not many bosses are like that. The one I used to have is kind of intimidating and liked to treat and make us feel small. It's not conducive to a person. Maybe because he thinks he's cleverer than everyone else.

Anyway, it's another afternoon to laze around, not that I like to do it often because there's so much to be done. However, circumstances doesn't allow it so might as well make the most of it lah...

The West Wing

West Wing is one of the best things that has been shown on TV. I just love this series. Hey, don't think that someone who follows Smallville and ALIAS cannot like something serious like West Wing. Basically, it is a drama on the lives of The West Wing staff, who for those without any ideas what the term means, is the President's of the United States office at the White House. The most powerful person in the world cannot do all the administration of the super power on it's own, right? He would need a chief of staff, press secretary, communication directors, aides, clerks, typist and so on. Over here, we have the Prime Minister's Office but the name West Wing certainly pushes the 'cool' level up a notch.

Some people would just say that the drama is a propaganda exercise by the Americans but as long as you can think for yourself and not let your mind be influenced, then who can stop you from enjoying it? The storylines are excellent with a lot of tension and interesting plots. In Malaysia, it is currently showing the 3rd season but I think it is already in its 5th in the US. I've just completed watching the whole 2nd season on DVD and I believe I watched the whole 22 seasons within one week. :)

I've always been interested in politics and to see how power is actually be exercised by the US, even though it's fictional, but in practice, that is what being done. I'm sure the producers want to make the drama as real as possible and you can see the quality of the storyline for each episode. I'd totally recommend anyone to watch The West Wing and you will have some understanding how those people in the corridors of power work and function.

Now, I'm trying to find the 3rd season on DVD but searching in Amazon.com, the search comes up to nothing. Watching on TV3 is just not the same.

Rejuvenated in KL

I haven't been sleeping much the last two night. I came down to KL on Thursday evening to attend a cousin's wedding on Friday & Saturday. As I've mentioned before, I feel as though I don't need sleep because it's just refreshing and energetic to be here in my hometown city. I suppose it is true when people say, absence makes the heart grows fonder. I left KL when I was barely out of high school, headed to the UK for A-levels and university. I came back every year during the summer break but I guess it's not the same when you're working compared to when you're studying. There's more opportunity to do things and experience stuff here if you've started working. Lately, I've been contemplating to come back to KL for good. I think it's the best option even though Awi likes to be in Kerteh as she's been comfortable lliving in the house I bought. There are some good things about being in a quiet place like Kerteh but if we have to travel down to KL and Bidor every other month, it kinds of wearies the body and mind. The couple of accidents I encountered recently sort of heightened this line of thinking in my head. Awi advised me to sembahyang istikharah, to seek guidance from Allah, which I will of course. It is a big move and I need to think about Awi as well, as she needs to be get a transfer to KL together with me. There are a thousand things to be done but I believe it is something which we have to do because in the end, I just don't see myself settling down anywhere else.

Of main priority is to find a job in KL. And then for Awi's transfer as well. Then, a place to live, moving stuff down here (which I truly dread!!) but if I don't declare it someplace, then I won't have the commitment to achieve it. So, Insyallah and Good willing, we will try to find a way to get to KL within the next year or so.

Celebrate, good times....come on!!

Let us all sing to the tune of a song I believe to be by Lionel Richie. Hehehe, not that we're partying our socks of in 'Islamic state' of Terengganu but the weather is fairly good and we had our Jamuan Hari Raya at the company today. Seriously, the weather is so like good old London in the past few days except that the rain makes you wet. I'm not kidding you, the rain in London doesn't wet you. I've walked in the rain from my apartment to college which is a good 45 minutes walk and I won't get drenched like I would over here if exposed for just one minute. Someone should do a study of this peculiar phenomenon.

Anyway, it was a rather good affair. I had to become the 'bidan terjun' MC for the event but I suppose I managed to pull it off rather well except that I wasn't properly dressed for the event. Should've worn my baju melayu but it was a last minute thing and I couldn't be bothered to drive all the way to the house to get it. Food was nice, of course. A variety of food which fits the occassion; nasi minyak, lemang, satay and rendang. I'm sure everyone had a good time stuffing themselves to the max. I know a few people at our table who did!!

The whole gang in the department is in today with Am back from his looooooong break. He has so much leave and I'm left with none, nothing, zippy doo dah. Usually, I can carry forward a few days to next year but not this time. You see, I took a lot of leave when Awi was giving birth to Haziq. It's not that I'm complaining but I'm a teeny weeny bit jealous of Am because he has so much leave!!!

Nevertheless, it's good that everyone's (except for this one Sarawakian!!) back here. all safe and sound, raring to work and hopefully at the same time, have fun. We need to enjoy our work and in this God-foresaken place, what else is there to do?

A better maintained nation

It finally stopped raining yesterday evening after an almost continuous downpour since the weekend. If I'm not mistaken, these downpour which occured for days and causing floods in several areas happened every year around this time. It's the monsoon, if I remember correctly from my Geography days, is Monsoon Timur Laut (North-East). Each year we'll hear of houses being flooded and mud-filled, of people getting stranded on the road because certain sections had water level coming up. It's all the same stories and you'd wonder why is it that with all the technology and knowledge that we have, we couldn't do something to avoid or prevent such occurrences from happening. Yesterday during the heavy rain, I heard the authorities in Paka was digging up a pathway for the excess water to flow back into the sea or something like that. By right, we don't have to take up corrective actions like this while the problem is happening. It should be done during the hot season when it is easier to work rather than while water was splashing all over the place.

I really, really hope that we can learn from all these. The new leadership of Malaysia, well the head anyway, has been promoting better maintenance, integrity in our life and improved services. His foot soldiers (the ministers) were recently talking the same talk as the new boss is, understandably. Well, talking is easy and it will take more than hot air to change the mindset of a whole nation. Hell, to change a mindset of a department and company would take years and it's uncertain whether it will be successful or not after putting in millions of ringgit.

I'm totally for the new direction that the leadership is heading. I just hope that there would be longer lasting effects than just visits to government agencies and showing up at disaster areas. But politicians being politicians.......well, time will tell.

Monsoon season is here!!

Brrr, it's so cold here in the office today. Am and Wan haven't come back from Raya break yet. The boss is here, by the way. Whatever it is, I'm glad to be safely back in Kerteh after the long drive yesterday. I was quite anxious before the drive because firstly, I was thinking about the heavy traffic. Secondly, heavy rain had struck the East Coast non-stop and in some places flooding has started. It was quite a weird drive actually. We pushed off from Bidor around 10.30 in the morning. There were many cars on the highway but no traffic jams. Reached KL within 1.5 hours. Really wished we're living in KL, driving back and fro to Bidor will be such a walk in the park. But noo, we have to pushed eastwards towards Gombak and Karak highway. The weather was still good and sunny and we made good time. There were a lot of cars on the other lane, coming towards KL from the East Coast states. I tried to be extra careful and be on the lookout for people making illegal 'potong'.

Once reaching Kuantan, only then it all began. Dark clouds, rain pelting down by the buckets. But still there wasn't at any time that we came to a standstill, unlike those on the other lane. Pity them. My sister's fiancee was driving down from KT with his family at that time. Wondered what time they reached KL last night?

Anyway, we were back home safe and sound. A bit wet and tired but safe, nevertheless. Safety has become such a major thing for me now, especially road safety. It is the one thing that you spend most time in a day doing and of which is the riskiest. It's a dangerous thing, do take note of it. You can be the most careful driver in the world but someone can still drive his/her vehicle into yours. I need to limit these long distance driving because I have a family to look after now and I never, never want to be responsible for causing hurt to them in any way.

So, the plan is put into motion now, hopefully, there'll be some progress to ensure of it's implementation. Can't say much yet, I'll update them here whenever possible.

Back to Work (for One Day!!)

Well, here I am, all alone in the office, with No Doubt Best of CD to accompany me and the occassional visit by Mr Patrick to the office. I had to say that luckily there is someone here in the office today because Mr Patrick's computer screwed up. Fortunately I am knowledgeable enough to fix his PC, all those years tinkering the home PC and also being in the IT profession, I should have some idea of repairing a PC, right?

The last blog entry was written the day before raya. A lot, and I'm saying a lot, had happened since then. Anyway, just to recap, on Raya morning, we all went to the mosque, did the prayers and came back to bersalam-salaman with my parents and siblings. Last year, me and Awi didn't do this because we were in Bidor on the first day of Raya. I really like this part of the day, where everyone is happy and all. I really missed it while studying in the UK, having to ask for forgiveness from my parents over the phone, which is never the same. After the sumptious meal of nasi tomato and kuzi, off we went to all the relatives houses in KL; my mother's aunt, my father's uncles and my uncles and aunties. Most of the family members on my mothers' side spend Raya in KL while on my father's side, they will go back to Kuala Terengganu. Nevertheless, I'll always prefer to spend Raya in KL (sorry Awi).

In the evening, after doing a lot packing into the car, we (Awi, Haziq & myself) drove off to Bidor to spend the other half of the Raya vacation there. The drive was okay, we exit the highway to enter Bidor around 7.40 pm. Don't know why, for some reason, I missed the turning into Awi's kampung and tried to manouver an illegal U-turn. I didn't see a divider was there in time, and a car coming from the other direction slammed into the left side passenger door. I remembered Awi sreaming something to me but it was too late to do anything. I parked the car to the road side and in the rain evaluated the damage to my car and to other person's. His was a Proton Iswara and the damage was to the front bumper and headlights. I admitted that it was my mistake and will bear any cost to repair. The damage to my beautiful Honda is not that bad upon close inspection, it has a strong body despite more than 12 years old. (Check out my photoblog).

Well, I think this is the second accident I've been involved in less than a month. Someone told me that I'm a clumsy driver while another person commented that I'm too don't-carish about safety. Hmm, whatever it is, I need to be more careful on the road. I don't really mind if it's just me who's injured but if it affects other people who I loved, then I don't want to do something that I will regret for the rest of my life. It was a split second decision to take that turning, maybe I was chasing time to pray Maghrib because it was almost 8 pm, maybe it was too dark (the lights were not ON that night) or maybe I was too confident. Whatever it is, perhaps it is best to wait and evaluate a particular option, even while you're on the road or anywhere else.

I know that I have this attitude of do now and deal with the consequences later. I remember, about 6 years ago, when I was on top of a crane, in the middle of London's Earl's Court waiting to do a bungee jump. In my mind, it was basically, never mind what happens, you just want to make the jump and I did get off the crane and made the jump. I suppose, being a father and having my own family doesn't permit me to have such an attitude anymore. In all accidents, it just take one wrong move in a split second moment to destroy everything that you've worked so far.

All Good Things Must Come to An End

Tomorrow is Hari Raya and so marks the end of the holy month of Ramadan. I must admit that this year's Ramadan is truly an enjoyable one. I know there were a lot of anguish in other parts of the world that my fellow Muslims had to endure such as in Arab Saudi, Iraq and Afghanistan but on a personal basis, I had a damn good time. We spent a lot of breaking fast with friends and that sort of heightened the 'enjoyable' status of fasting.

With tomorrow as well, we will then drive up to Bidor, the hometown of Awi to spend the other half of the break with her family. The past four days had just flown and it is true that time flies when you're having fun. As mentioned previously, Awi didn't really like my 'adrenaline rush' when I'm in KL but that is the fact. I'm getting minimal sleep but I'm not groggy or totally energyless. Nevertheless, as a husband I need to be fair, as what is espoused by Islam so it is bye bye KL and hello Bidor for me. I will miss the moments spent with my family. Just for records, here are some of things that we did as a family.

1. Breaking fast together at the Bangsar home on the old Italian long table which had been around in the house almost as long as I have lived.

2. Tadarus (reading Quran) before the breaking of fast.

3. Shopping at MV with my two sisters and their other significant halves.

4. Lepaking in Lucky Garden with my brothers after terawih prayers.

5. Watching Smallville together and discussing about what happened afterwards. (I know it's sad, but it's just what we do)

And many other things but most of all, I just enjoy their company and hopefully, they will also have enjoyed ours.

Tomorrow morning, we will go to the mosque for the Hari Raya prayers, after that we will come back to the house to bersalam-salaman, take photographs and have delicious meal cooked by Mak. Haziq will surely be wearing the new baju melayu that his auntie (Adiknor) has bought for him. They'll be a lot of pictures taken of him and his cousin, Iskandar, you can be sure of that.

Anyway, I've had a superb time and hopefully, there will be many excellent moments such as this in the future.

Adrenaline rush

One thing I noticed when I'm in KL and to the annoyance of Awi is that I seem to have a strong ability to resist sleep. It's as though when I'm back in the house, I don't want to lose the opportunity to maximise the time I'm here on something as trivial as sleep. I've only slept 2.5 hrs last night and the night before around the same period of time as well. Hehehe, must be some sort of adrenaline rush giving me the strength to go by and minimal sleep. It's not that I'm fighting sleepiness, I just don't feel that sleepy, that's all.

I met up with Bik and Farouk yesterday afternoon. Just to beraya with them before Raya actually falls upon us in 2 days time. I know I won't be able to see them during the Raya month due to time constraint, as has been the case in the past couple of years. It's tough but I just have to accept things as they are.

Another early morning for me here. Not sure of my plans for today but didn't really mind if it's just lazing around the house.

Home Sweet Home

We're back in KL now, drove down from Kerteh at 6 am and reached the city around 11 am. The streets were jam packed with cars, as expected. Ultimate patience was needed but I was up to it and we reached my Bangsar home around noon after manouvering through Kenny Hills and the Damansara interchange.

The last time I was in KL was about 2 months ago. Being back to my hometown of Bangsar really made me realise how much I missed being here. I was born here in Bangsar and I've been living here until I was 17, when I left for further studies in the UK. Driving around the neighborhood gave me a sense of belonging and I sort of reminiscience to various things I did here years ago. The place where I played video games without the knowledge of my parents and the location where my bike was stolen. The McDonalds where I used to hang out while doing Geography questions preparing for my SRP. And many more memories just came gushing in. The place is busier now, with more shops and cafes on every corner but I just loved the area and wished I can be here forever.

I went for terawih prayers at the local mosque, Masjid Abu Bakar As-Siddiq in Bangsar. I basically grew up here, went for afternoon religious classes from the age of 6 to 12 and had been involved in various activities such as Khemah Ibadah. I once considered it to be my second home but as the years gone by, my visits there have been reduced to the occasional Friday prayers. Rather sad about it but I'm too far away to make frequent visits there.

Anyway, there was a khatam quran session for those involved in the tadarus (reading of Quran) throughout the fasting month. Abah is a participant so we all went for the session followed by the breaking of fast at the mosque. After terawih prayers, there was a sort of a quiz conducted by the mosque and the questions were related to Islamic history and knowledge on the Quran. It was quite a fun session and I realised how much I didn't know about the area. Didn't manage to answer any questions correctly but totally enjoyed the time.

Our time in KL is limited, only until the afternoon of first Hari Raya. I intend to make the most of it by spending time with my siblings and just being in the house. There's just no place like home. Despite the fact that at the moment, I'm based in Kerteh, it doesn't mean that I cannot enjoy the home in which I grew up in.

Friendship

It's the last day of work before the break for Raya. Most of us will be travelling on the road or air during this festive so we need to ensure the safety of yourselves and your beloved ones as well. Anyway, I'm a bit stricken for time so maybe this will be short one.

I just want to touch on something I consider is very important in our lives, friendship. Friends are those that we care for in health and in sickness and those that we can count to be there when we need them. I don't have many friends but for those few, I really know that they can be counted on whenever I require their help or support, likewise, vice versa. A couple of my good friends are sort of 'feuding' at the moment. I've told them not to prolong this matter but who knows whether they'll listen to me or not. Nevertheless, I just hope they'll get over it soon because in a place like this, they're not many friends to hang out with. So, those few people we have, we want them to be comfortable with each other and not be uneasy.

Anyway, gotta go now. Have to do a lot of packing tonight!! Off to KL we go tomorrow morning.

Chiro Flashback: Fasting in Europe

This shall be the first among many blog entries on the many experiences I had during my student days in London. To me, the period between Jan 1994 to July 1999 was the defining moment in my life. I suppose I really grew up during that time. There were many lessons in life from that 'age', some bad but a lot of them good. Why the name "Chiro"? Well, I used to live with four good friends; Bik, Farouk, Chaks & Basheer in a 3-room apartment which used to be a Chiropractor clinic somewhere along Edgware Road, in the middle of Central London. So, we called ourselves "Chiros". It's just something for us to define ourselves by and one the many names, my good friend & room mate, Farouk created. (Guys, remember Red Nose Reindeer, Ting, ABG, Braecol and Durian & Monyet?) I believe all of them would agree that the time spent there was THE best times ever. And if not, I definitely believe so. Since coming back from the UK, I've shared among a close group of friends two articles revolving the topic of living as Chiros. I am owing them one article this year, which I promised to send by April Fool's Day every year but it has been such a hectic year. Nevertheless, better late than never, so here goes boys. Enjoy the walk down memory lane...

It is less than a week to Hari Raya and so Ramadan, the fasting month is fast coming to an end. I remember how torturing fasting used to be as a young boy. The days seemed to crawl oh so very slowly and I just couldn't stand the heat. Now, I feel as though I don't want the month to end, it's kind of cool to just have one main meal per day even though I don't think there's much reduction on my overall BMI. However, in the past few days, I have been going through my mental records, recalling the days of fasting while in London. There are many experiences such as breaking fast (iftar) during lectures with a chocolate bar, iftar with the Muslim community in my college and tirelessly explaining to the Mat Sallehs what fasting is all about. However, three events stood out from the 6 Ramadan's I went through there.

Firstly was going for terawih at Malaysia Hall. Every night, the Malaysian community held a terawih session and it was a good opportunity to come together. Most of the congregation were students of course and some of the many Arabs living in that area. Our apartment was just a 10 minutes walk from Malaysia Hall, so we always try to pray terawih there. One image which stood out in my mind was Farouk walking in the freezing cold from the apartment to the Hall wearing a kain pelikat. I can't imagine how many people must have stared at him that night. But then Farouk was one who would do all these funny things and we adore him for that. Another main attraction about terawih was the 'MORE' (meals after prayers). Man, on this one month, the food was really, really good. The sponsors didn't really hold on the budget for that month. Us students didn't really care, it was excellent and free food, what more can a money-stricken student in London ask for? Hey, we were living in Central London okay where the rents were sky high.

Second total recall was during the Ramadan in my third year, final year for Farouk and Chaks. I think it was in Jan 1998. For some reason, Farouk suddenly became quiet and subdued, unlike his normal bubbly self. People that knew Farouk at that time would describe him as an ever-grinning, funny, vertically-challenged and never serious guy, except during exam season. He's more serious nowadays but on some rare moments when we meet up, I could see those traits are still there. So, when Farouk wasn't talking anymore and just gave smile when we talked to him, of course we were very much concerned. Bik and I held a theory that he was TAKEN by aliens, replacing inside him with another being, he was THAT different. There was once, he quietly went to the Halal Fried Chicken take away further up the Edgware Road without telling any of us. When he came back, he ate the meal alone quietly inside his 'brothel'. We were quite stunned because it was just never done before. Usually we would go together and he knew that we didn't buy any food yet. That was just a funny experience to remember. A few days later, he wrote an email to all of us explaining the reason which was that he will be going back to Malaysia at the end of the academic year while most of us would still be in the UK studying. I think I can understand his fears and concerns at that time, I would become an alien too if the same things went through my mind. Today, we're still good friends even though I don't have the luxury to spend a lot of time with the guys like Farouk, Bik, Mukhriz & Chaks. I very much want to but I have to compromise between family and friends. But they will always be like brothers to me.

The final recall was the time when I inter-railed with Bik from Spain to Morrocco and back with a stopover in Portugal. I believe it was Dec 1998 and also in the fasting month. Never knew why I agreed to such a hair-brained idea by Bik to travel at that time, I lost so much weight some people didn't recognise me. The conditions wasn't really favourable, freezing cold and windy but we survived to tell the story. We almost got tricked by a hustler in Tangiers, Morrocco but Bik saved the day with his stubbornness. I ate a half of delicious roasted chicken (there must be something with me & chicken) in Casablanca and oh yes, who can forget the breaking of fast in Marrakesh when a couple of Moroccan guys offered dates & sweet cakes to us?

I need to say this. The situation before the beginning of the journey wasn't really conducive for myself & Bik and I was seriously contemplating to cancel the trip. But we've paid a lot for the inter-rail and bus tickets so what to do? My own mind was somewhere else and I suppose I was kind of an ass to Bik during most of the journey. But he's a great friend and was always patient with my antics. Bik, remember the acting/role-playing session I did inside the hotel room in Rabat or Casablanca? Truly sorry for that, man. Hehehehe. A lof of other things happened on that journey. I left my jacket on a train and it was sub zero in Spain at that time. I even fell sick but I got my beloved jacket back. Staying in cheap hotel rooms with no hot water. Happening night life in Marrakesh with shows and food stalls. Bik also almost didn't get into Morocco because of some visa issue but luckily it was the immigration's officer fault. Stupid Spanish guy. It was an unforgettable journey and all of it was done during the fasting month.

So, there you have it. It's amazing that all these events are still clear as though you went through them yesterday. It's good to remember the past but you don't have to live in the past. You can learn a lot from history, even your own life's. To all my Chiro mates, have a happy fasting month. Next, Hari Raya in London.

P/S: Wanted to scan the hari raya greeting card we printed with our group picture at Marble Arch, but couldn't find it lah. I have put some pictures in my photoblog, do browse there for pictures of men when they were just boys.

Golden 15 minutes

I would like to thank my wife Awi. She always wanted the best for me and Haziq, I suppose it is a natural instinct a wife and mother has. Yesterday she reminded me about something, which I guess most people don't think as a lot but perhaps in the long run will do myself and Haziq much good. You see, nowadays Haziq wakes up around the time we're preparing to go to work. And if he's in good health, we noticed that he is in such a good mood. Not like some babies who will wake up crying, Haziq will give the most beautiful smile and you can see that he is very happy. Awi told me that if I am not there to experience this moment of 'good mood' then I might lose it forever because such times will not come by again. Who knows how Haziq will be when he grows up. I mentioned earlier that babies characters change as they grow older so we'll never know what to expect. The journey is through uncharted paths for us so might as well you take note of all the beautiful sceneries along the way because you may not come by the same road again. These periods of "Golden 15 minutes" must be cherished and treasured. So, thank you again, Awi.

PS: Came across by youngest brother's blog today. Ucop, kenapa tak bagi tahu awal2. Anyway, it's kinda cool and do continue blogging. Now I know why you're speaking in French. :)

To Know or Not To Know

Innggerland!! Innggerland! Innggerland! Better get that out of the system first. For those who are unaware, England just qualified into the final of the Rugby World Cup 2003 in Australia. They will play the host sometime next week. Hehehe, talk about being a true fan, can't even remember the date of the final match.

It's Sunday again and over here we work on the weekend. It's the practice since a long time ago because it is encouraged for Muslims to 'beribadat' on Fridays as it is the holiest among the days in a week. However, other places in Malaysia doesn't practice, except for 2 other states. So, we're stuck with it, but as the saying goes, "When in Rome, you act like a Roman".

I look forward to Sundays because Smallville comes on air tonight. Not many of my friends watch it but I know a few who followed it like loyally, like my brother Cu. We can even have an intellectual discussion on a particular episode, we're that big a fan. (To view pic of Cu, do visit my photoblog). Anyway, one thing that I like about the series is, besides for Kristin Kreuk's deep eyes, is the relationship between young Clark Kent and the elusive Lana Lang. It's the sort of cat and mouse game between a boy and girl who know that they like each other very much but just couldn't take that one step towards expressing their feelings to one another. I'm sure many people had gone through such an experience.

I, myself had been in those situations myself. The normal procedure for a relationship to blossom is boy meets girl, they get to know each other formally. After that, they get closer and the getting to know becomes more personal. They might spend more time with each other and in today's world, it could be in virtual space and real space. Feelings start to develop but neither are willing to tell the other person, afraid of rejection. Nobody likes to be rejected or unwanted. So, sometimes lost opportunity will not come by again anymore. This could go on and on forever, until someone takes a deep breath and just tell the truth about his or her feelings. And if the other party expresses the same, Wow, the excitement just cannot be described in words. It is the best feeling and having gone through those experiences before, I have to say that one of the best part, is when you're uncertain or not sure whether the other person likes you back or not. You might call her at night to bid her goodnight or have a chat in the middle of the night under the stars. Maybe, there's the customary daily good morning wish to one another via email. I tell you, this part is one which I really enjoyed. Not that I want to do it all over again, once is enough I suppose but watching Clark and Lana play the same game week in week out, just makes my heart light all over again.

Life is About Compromise

I finally got to watch Matrix Revolutions today. I was thinking of catching the movie in KL during the Raya break but I suppose the time would be better spent doing something else. We were doing some shopping in Chukai, Kemaman and stopped in one of the many VCD shops inside The Store shopping complex. Upon enquiries at the counter for new VCDs or DVDs, the lady at the counter produced a folder of VCD covers, those with ring binders. I'm sure ALL of you have come across such folders, either at the side of the road, at a night hawker stall or the weekly pasar malam. Saw the cover for Revolutions, asked whether I can preview it before buying. However, she didn't allow it so in a sort of a gamble for my hard earned RM6, I decided to buy it. Apologies to the Tan Sri Minister for Local Trade and Consumer Affairs as he had been working so hard to stop all these pirate VCDs but hey, the supply is there, so might as well, provide the demand, right?

So, I've done watching the film, understood what the Matrix is all about and bla bla bla. I came to think about something else after watching it. I remember my pre-fatherhood days when I would drag Awi to watch any new films at the Kuantan Megamall. She had to come against her will to watch movies such as Matrix Reloaded (which she fell asleep right through), Spiderman, Star Wars and other action films. I don't consider myself to be a movie buff but I just love watching a film inside a cinema hall, enjoying the Dolby Digital sound system and be mesmerised (or bored) for a couple of hours. Now, it's not so easy anymore. My other friends who became parents earlier that I did had warned me about this. Gone are the days of watching movies at the cinemas. It will be another 5 more years until I step into GSC or TGV. And many more warnings. Now, it is becoming a reality for me. I am going through what they went through early on.

But you know what? I don't really mind the change. Some people might say I am losing something. I suppose they are right. But I am looking from another angle, from the point of view of Third Newton's Law of Physics which states an action in one direction will result in a similar action in the other direction. Applying the same logic, I lose something, I will gain another thing. So what if I cannot go to a cinema again? I can always get a VCD/DVD and watch it at home. I won't substitute having a child of my own for just a couple of hours experience inside a cinemaplex. It's like what you learn in economics, about opportunity cost. So, the opportunity cost of having a child is I cannot so freely watch a movie at a cinema? That's not such a big thing to lose, don't you agree?

Life, in a way is like that as well. You lose some, you gain some. It's about finding the balance, the compromise. You ask any married couple, compromise is what ensures a marriage to work. You cannot be so selfish to just getting your own way, it just won't last for long. Life is all about compromise and the choices we make based on that compromise. If you just want things to go according to your requirements then nobody would want to have anything to do with you. You want to get some, then you must be ready to give some as well.

Time Moves at Lightning Speed

It is already after midnight, so technically Haziq is five months old today, 15th of November. A lot had happen since that night at Pantai Medical Centre, hundreds of diapers changed, pints of milk fed, twice sick with fever and many 'disturbed' nights for Awi. Myself, being a typical father, fell a bit deaf when Haziq wakes up to be fed every night. However, so far I've been able to take it all in my stride. I suppose it is the process of growing up and evolving as a man, from a boy, to teenager, to young adult, and then a husband and now a father. It's just sometimes, I wish time won't move so fast so that all these moments can be enjoyed and cherished longer.

I realise time is relative according to the situation. If you're having fun, the moment suddenly just passes like that. But if you're in a boring meeting, the seconds seem to crawl along and you think you're stuck in a time warp. A friend of mine commented that I've been working here in Terengganu for four years now. Damn, four years already. That sure sounds like a long time in today's standard. I can still remember the first day I reported to work at EPEMSB. I recalled commenting to my friend, Reza that it's a bit weird at the company because a doa was recited every morning. We've never experienced such things before. Must be a Terengganu thing, hehehe. The things that seem to stuck in your mind all these while.

Nevertheless, the one thing I will always keep in mind and I know is so true in today's world is that change is the only constant thing. Reza is no longer here, he resigned and joined another company in KL. I've also changed jobs from the one I initially reported to here in Kerteh. I am also no longer a bachelor, now a husband and father. Things keep changing all around you and it is just something that needs to be handled and accepted.

More things will be changing soon. The year is ending and next year will hold either a better promise or a worse outcome. Whatever it is, the clock will always be ticking and time will move whether you like it or not. We just have to deal with what it brings into our lives as best as we possibly can.

An excellent setup

The department finally confirmed the leave that all of us will be taking during the Hari Raya holidays. It is always a sticky issue for us, every year during this period because everyone don't want to be on standby during a long holiday. Nevertheless, we are a service department for the whole company so it is imperative for us to provide the excellent service we profess to give. This time around, I decided to volunteer on this one day, where initially none of us wanted to come on. It is the 3rd Hari Raya and according to our plans, we would be in Awi's hometown of Bidor, Perak after spending first day of raya in KL at my parents house. I suppose it is a bit crazy because I will be literally criss crossing the peninsular of Malaysia from the West Coast to the East Coast within a span of 2 days. However, that is the decision of the management and for the sake of everyone, I'll just take up the challenge.

You see, throughout my short working life (more than 4 years now), the past one year and a half had been the most satisfying for me. I know there's a lot more years to go through, but I can confidently state that the times in ICM, EPEMSB was the best working years I will ever had. It is a small setup of 6 persons but the relationship and working environment is so much better than what I previously experienced. Foremost, I am doing something that I love, and even though it is full of challenges and hair wringing moments, but looking back, I don't regret leaving my previous position. The expectations is higher than ever, even today I got kind of a minor slamming by the boss but I see it as a challenge to do better. My current boss does a lot of coaching and tried to bring the best out of everyone. He challenges us a lot but I believe it is all for our own benefits. I also won't trade my workmates for anything. Am and Wan have both helped me in so many ways from day one and even though at times, other people would think that we're having a fight or something due to the volume of discussion, it was all friendly banter between us. The teamwork is just excellent and at times, the work does seem overwhelming. Like during the recent virus attack, we had to spend late nights at the office but we managed to do it all because I can see that all of us loved what we do. It's not because we had to do it but because we know that it's our responsibility. It is a pity that most probably next year, this excellent setup will be broken up due to some management decision which none of us can do much.

It is because of this I don't mind having to make certain sacrifices because I know I have gained so much during this one year and half. Giving a little of my time and effort would be the correct thing to do.

I have one parenting skill!!!

It's not easy being a father, you know. You don't have that natural motherly instinct that most women seem to have from small. You see young girls playing with dolls, putting on clothes on Barbie and holding teddy bears as though they're babies. They have been training from childhood. Most boys prefer to pillage and destroy whatever toys being given to them. I, for one have fond memories of taking a screwdriver and dissecting a remote control car, just to get to the small motor inside it.

So once Haziq comes into our lives, Awi is the one that is like an expert, a natural, I would say. She said that she's been taking care of her many nieces and nephews since she was at primary school. How can you compete with that? A different strategy is needed, I said to myself. I tried to do all the baby-related tasks like changing diapers, preparing formula milk and bathing him once in a while. I suppose I could do these tasks fairly well but it's not something special or unique. Awi can do those tasks 10 times better than I ever could. It's not that we're competing or what, I suppose I want to do something of which I can be personally proud of.

And in the past few days I believe I've found it. You see, one thing about babies that I'm learning, is that as they grow up, their habits and moods also changed. If they are easy to handle at 2 months old, it doesn't mean they will be so at 5 months. Maybe they sleep fairly easy previously but then at a later age, they become increasingly difficult to put to sleep. And that is what we observe Haziq to be.

He likes to throw a tantrum when he's sleepy. Normally, if one is sleepy, he or she will just lie down and sleep straightaway. Haziq is a bit different. We know that he's sleepy but he won't go to sleep just like that. He will cry a bit and refuse to let his body rest. Now, this is where I discover my one parenting skill. I can put Haziq to sleep faster and easier than Awi could. I'll just hold him in my arms, his head resting on my right shoulder and by crooning "Glory, glory Man Utd", he will be in deep slumber within minutes. Great huh? You can say that I'm indoctrinating him from a young age with which football team to support when he's old enough.

So now, Awi will just hand Haziq to me if she's having some difficulty in getting Haziq to sleep. I suppose it's an acknowledgement from a mother, even though it is only that one skill I have been able to develop.....so far.

Cool!!!

I just created my photoblog. Just can't believe how easy these things are to set up. Anyway, if you want to see pictures of Haziq and Awi, please feel free to browse. Only put up 4 pics for the moment, more will come, believe me. Wonder if anyone can tell me whether there is a space restriction or not? :)

Break in the middle of the week

One thing the expats in my company used to comment is that Malaysia is one of the countries in the world with the most public holidays. Tomorrow is a public holiday in Terengganu and some other states as well like Selangor, Pahang and Kedah, I think. It's to celebrate Nuzul Quran, which falls on 17 Ramadan, the day when the first verse of Quran was taught to the Prophet Muhammad by the the angel, Jibrail. Anyway, it is a break that is much needed even though I have only been working 3 days straight this week. :)

Today is Tuesday and I just LOVE Tuesday night. Why? Because on this night, every week, on AXN channel, at 9 pm, ALIAS comes on air. This series really kicks ass. For me, it is up there among the best series like The West Wing and 24. And Jennifer Garner is THE babe on TV at the moment, for me that is anyway.

A funny/frustrating thing happened today. A friend of mine is heading down to KL by air via the Kuantan airport. Since he's waiting for his brand new car to arrive straight from the factory, he hitches a ride to work this morning in my car, bringing his suitcase as well so that he can leave straight from the office. Just before he leaves the office on a taxi he came up to me to get his suitcase out of my boot. I gave him the car keys and then I sort of forgotten all about it because I had to go for a meeting. When it was time for me to go home, I suddenly realised the car keys are not with me. I gave my friend a call on his mobile and lo behold, he told me my car keys are on the way to Kuantan airport with him. I didn't know whether to be angry or to laugh. Anyway, I managed to get a ride on another friend's car and my car keys managed to find its way back to Kuantan via the taxi driver. So, it all ends well for everyone, except for my car which is stranded at my company's parking lot.

I'm not too angry with my friend because I had been in similar situations before, a few years ago. Don't want to elaborate much on my dark history, suffice to say it involves car keys, house keys and my father having to travel all the from KL to Terengganu.

I'm off to bed in a few minutes. Haziq looks so much better today. He doesn't cough as bad as yesterday and he rather enjoyed pinching parts of my face with his small cute hands. We will have more fun tomorrow since there's no work to go to in the morning!!!

Very bad cough

Haziq woke us up around 2 in the morning with his coughing. It sounded really bad. It is as though something is stuck in his throat and he wanted to get it out. It doesn't sound like the coughing he had a few months bad which is more pghlemy. This time around, it's rather dry and we felt really 'kesian' for him. We hold him up face facing down and tried to coax him to cough out whatever was inside his throat. Something did come out but not much. He's sleeping now and hope his sleep won't be disrupted till morning. Never realised that it's so tough for babies to take medicine. I suppose they're not used to the taste and so would just reject it totally. Previously it was easier but now Haziq is stronger and you can't just force the medicine down his throat, right?

Safety Culture

Pheww!! Just got Haziq to sleep on my second attempt tonight. He's a bit grumpy just now, most probably because he was coughing rather badly and that kind of disrupted his slumber. I gave him his medicine as well and boy did he hate it. He just screamed at the top of his lungs and for such a small person, he sure has a loud volume to turn on to. Hopefully, he will sleep better tonight.

Today I attended a safety reinduction program at the company. It's a compulsary thing for all of us and we need to attend it if we don't want to be interrogated by one of the GMs. Anyway, safety is a very important thing for us, as it should rightly be. Not just at the workplace, also on the road, at our homes and wherever we are. By right it should be a culture for us and we don't have to think about doing it, instead it should be second nature to us, like walking and breathing. It doesn't matter if you work on an oil rig or office room, accidents could happen to anyone at anytime. So, we just have to be aware and alert at all times.

During the training session, we were shown a video called Remember Charlie. It is a safety lecture by this one Charlie Morecraft who survived a horrendous chemical accident when he inflicted 50% burns on his body. He recalled in great detail how painful the treatment that he had to undergo and how at times he just wanted to die. The moral of the story is that we must not end up like Charlie and it is really a choice for us to make. You see, Charlie never really cared about his safety while working in a refinery in the US because he always believed that accidents always occur to the other person, it will never happen to him. Sometimes, we think that we are invincible and in fact, no one can avoid getting into accidents if he doesn't access and manage the risks that he would face.

I just had a close call a few days ago and this story kind of struck home with me. While driving on the road, if you are sleepy or tired, it is your choice to either push on or stop and rest until you are fresh enough to ride. Or while travelling with babies, you have the choice to either put him or her secured to a baby seat or hold him/her in your arms. It is all about choice and if you are not careful, that decision could haunt you for the rest of your lives.

Great Company

We had another fast breaking party today and it was our turn to host it. Awi cooked a wonderful meal of mee rebus and I'm sure everyone enjoyed every bit of it. This year we decided to have a round robin of berbuka puasa among a group of friends/colleagues. The first one was held at J's place in Rantau Bukit, after that Shai/Am/Junai held a record-breaking break fast and yesterday Sitizud held a combined party with Azian. Ours concluded this year's round robin and I have to admit, it was a total success. Not everybody could join everyone's party but it kind of provided an excellent outlet for socialising outside the normal working environment. A round of applause to the co-organisers, Shai & Azian. (Clap! Clap!)

One thing I see about this kind of gathering is that it's not just the food and drinks. It's the company that each of us provided, an opportunity for us to learn more about our friends, joke around and basically to enjoy each other's presence. I used to have a lot of this experience while studying. It doesn't matter that it's the same old bunch of faces, it is just never boring for us to hang out with. It's difficult when you're working and married to get such occassions. Of course, there are those that go to the golf range or courses to meet people but it's just not the same to the tension releasing moments of just sitting around, talking and yakking yourself away. I suppose women do this on a frequent basis but I guess us men also need similar releases.

Among the group that came to the house today, I believe there is one budding relationship in the works. My sixth sense is not so well honed anymore but I think Awi also concur with me on this. It's kind of cool to see such things, reminds me of the memories when I was also courting Awi and being in the same sort of position. Such exhilirating and exciting moments, indeed!! Maybe another young married couple will be on the way soon...just watch this space.

Haziq is not feeling well today. He developed a cold a couple of days ago and today he began coughing. I have also started having running nose and sore throat, definitely got it from Haziq. We do pity babies when they fall sick because they don't know how to deal or communicate what they are feeling. For instance, we can easily blow our noses hard to clear it but how do we teach a baby to do the same thing? It's not easy but it is just something that we need to deal with.

PS: The hot topic in Kerteh at the moment is that the first ever McDonald's restaurant in Terengganu has just opened up, right here in this town. In fact it's just 3 mins walk to it from my house. Kerteh is on it's way to becoming a cool place to be in......maybe not yet!!!

Very Close Call

We got into an accident yesterday afternoon, well I was the guilty party because I was the one behind the wheel. I must've drove through that road from Kerteh to Paka, a thousand times, but somehow the traffic light presence just wasn't registered in my mind yesterday as were were travelling to the town of Paka. It is the first traffic light in Paka when you come from the Petronas Petrochemical industrial area. It was definitely a red light. My wife confirmed it immediately. A green large crane was coming from the left junction into the main road. I saw it at the very last moment and managed to swerve to the right and just slammed on the brakes. But I was too fast and to avoid hitting any cars, I went up the kerb where the traffic light pole stood and the car just stopped in its tracks.

It was a miracle. Allah must have wanted us to survive this experience. Luckily we were not hurt. Haziq was also sitting in front with Awi, and if I had hit anything, the impact would have affected him worst. I reversed the car quickly and stopped on the side of the road. My legs were trembling like jelly and according to Awi, my face was pale and white with shock. Upon checking the car, there were actually no major damage and it can be driven as normal. Another miracle. I thought the car would be damaged quite badly after such an incident.

This event really made me realise how fragile and how fast things could change our lives. If I had been slower to react or if Awi didn't warn me quick enough, (shudder) I couldn't imagine what would happen. As I hold Haziq in my arms, I am thankful to Allah for protecting us. There was no other force that could've done so.

My company has been promoting road safety all these while to the staff. It is actually what we call the Golden Rules of Safety and driving is one of the rules. We just have to be 110% alert on the road, no matter what. It was just a momentarily lapse of concentration and look what happened. We were just lucky to survive and I don't know what I would do if anything had befallen my family due to my own mistake.

Again, Alhamdulillah to Allah....

Looking Back on Hanging Out

I gave my wife (Awi) a read of the recently published blog. She gave some good ideas on what I should put inside the blog. Anyway, referring to my previous entry on the breaking of fast, I started to remember those single days when we used to hang around like that but in a totally different environment of course.

I came to Kerteh a bit late, in Sept 1999. My seniors who started working in 1997-98 really hung out in packs of wolves. Eating together was always in 5 or 6 cars. Every weekend, they would drive down to Kuantan, where all the 'entertainment' could be found here on the East Coast. I'm referring to basic entertainment like cinema and fast food restaurants such as McDonalds and Pizza Hut. Things that you take for granted in West Coast cities like KL, Ipoh and Penang are quite rare here on the East Coast. Sometimes, these seniors will spend the night in beautiful Cherating, where the night life is quite happening or so I heard.

By the time I came here, those so-called seniors of mine, you've guessed had mostly got married. So, I befriended those few singles friends like Mizan, Junai, Reza, Moree, Zaki and my future wife, Awi. The trips to Kuantan were still done but in smaller groups, perhaps one or two cars. But then, a few years later, Mizan and Zaki got married while Reza & Moree had moved to KL. Me and Awi were also married within a few months of Zaki's wedding. Gone are those days of hanging out with friends in such a carefree manner.

Now, we still hang out. We always invite friends like Am, Shai & Junai to our house for meals. They can also come and play with Haziq. The concept of hanging out with friends had changed drastically from a singles point of view to a married couple with kids. You are less free to do things that in the past you would be able to do something in a blink of an eye. For instance, if I am a bachelor today, I would just jump in my car on Thursday, drive down to KL and be able to catch Matrix Revolutions on the night show. Now, it would be impossible to do so. Preparing to travel down to KL would take hours when previously, could be done in minutes.

These are the small compromise that you have to make when you are a father. Of course, when I look at Haziq, those things that you value so much previously like going to movies, window shopping and so on, become menial and insignificant. Looking at how he is growing from such a small baby, to almost a toddler now. Seeing him smile at you when he wakes up in the morning or when he is able to turn himself on his back on his own for the first. These experiences are so much better than being the first to catch a hot blockbuster!!!

Of course, there are some things that you do miss. Especially, when I'm back in KL, I'd like to meet up with friends from my London days. I have this 5 close friends that I feel I couldn't hang out with them as much as I wanted to when we were almost inseparable during those university days. I supposed, growing up and moving on makes you lose certain things but it doesn't mean you don't value them anymore.

More on this later....

Breaking fast with friends & friends' children

Just came back from breaking the fast (berbuka puasa) party in Dungun, Terengganu. The town is situated about 40 km (30 mins drive) from Kerteh, where we are staying. There were about 8 of us, Mizan from the workplace hosted the 'majlis buka puasa'. He's married to Marina, and are blessed with one son, Ibadurrahman. There were 2 other young couples as well, Shaiful & Azian, and Hasanin with Nor Rahmah.

Shaiful and Azian got married at the end of last year and are expecting their first child, which I overheard is going to be a girl. Never can be sure, you know, the doctor said that my son was supposed to be a daughter, when he's about 6 months inside his mother's womb. As for Hasanin & Nor Rahmah, they are among the 'advanced' ones, already with 2 sons, Anwar and Rushdan.

As you can imagine, the kids (all boys) created quite a ruckus during the party even though they're not all the same age. Anwar and Ibad were practically bringing out all the toys and playing among themselves. There's the standard toy car and toy machine gun to be pointed in all direction. Haziq basically just lay down or had to be carried at times because he hasn't been in a good mood today. Maybe it was the hot weather or his nose is blocked. We had to drive around Kerteh in the afternoon in order for him to be calm and go to sleep.

It's quite good to have that sort of gathering once in a while. You can see the men talking about 'manly' stuff like cars and politics, while the mothers will exchange stories or tips on motherhood. The kids, being kids, will just play and play, I suppose.

It's raining cats and dogs out there, we're just smacked right in the monsoon season here. Later then....

A start

People say, the first step is always the difficult one to make. Starting a new job, moving to a new house or even starting a blog. There's always a lot of 'little, little' stuff to do and it's such a hassle. But a man gotta do what a man gotta do. For me, it is to start my own weblog. I'm not really sure what my own personal motives are in doing so, perhaps because I used to have my own electronic diary I kept in my laptop, way back in the university days. Or, I just like to ramble on my own and this is the best way to do so, and maybe share it with someone.

I've frequented other weblogs, there are some interesting ones kept by some colleagues of mine, such as Maria's and Aizuddin's. The thought did pass through my mind to start one of my own but what the hell am I going to write about? So, while I was staring intently at my four and half month's old son, Haziq, it all became clear to me. I would like to share this experience, among other things with friends or whomever should stumble on this weblog. The experience of becoming a Young Father.

Haziq came into our lives, me and my wife, Awi on the evening of 15th June 2003. Time of birth was 1913 or 7.13 pm. He was induced because according to the doctor, the amniotic fluid surrouding the baby was decreasing so it is best to induce him when he's about 2 weeks before his due date. Supposedly that is the earliest date for a baby to be born, if not via normal delivery. When Haziq came out, the labour nurse took him for cleaning and I followed to ensure she doesn't accidentally exchanged Haziq with some other baby. He was cleaned up and then performed the Muslim rite of reciting the 'azan' and 'qamat' in his right and left ear.

Funny really when I recalled that memorable night. I was so excited at becoming a father, I carried haziq all around the labour ward, even having time to show him off to my brothers and younger sister. He was barely half an hour in this world!! Awi was actually going through some bad moments inside the delivery room. She lost a lot of blood and her blood pressure was decreasing by the minute. Thankfully for the experienced doctor and nurses, she was stabilised and everything ended well.

Fatherhood came quite early to me, I was about 26 years and 6 months old when Haziq was born. We got married when I was 25. We are working in Kerteh, Terengganu and young married couples are not rare here. Maybe the fresh or lack of entertainment prompted people to get married early. To me, I suppose it is fate. What God has decided, whether you like it or not, will just happen.

I would like to share this experience and also other things happening in my life, so this blog shall be the medium to do so.

More later, once I've learnt how to use this blogger. Now, it's time to take that first step.