One thing I noticed being away for so long from my wife and kids is that I get stressed out easily. Only then do I realise how much the impact of having my own family around on reducing my stress level. I believe I could handle the pressure and stress while at work, it's just when I get back to my parents' house, there's no way for me to destress or forget the challenges at work. I end up doing more work and getting more worried about the task I'm working on. Hope this will end soon or I need to find some ways to release the tension.
On other matters, the project I'm working on proceeding well so far, as well as it could be, given the limited time we were given to deliver. As expected, my major challenge is managing the various parties and people involved in this project. Handling users' expectations, controlling the vendor and at the same time, controlling the overall schedule and other aspects of the project. It is quite a big task and it being a high profile project kind of doesn't help. However, I hope to hang on and see this task through right through the end. There are still some areas which can be improved such as the communication within my company's team and the contractor's PM must really buck up. He's just so emotional and defensive at times. Just do what you're expected to do lah and don't wait to be reminded.
I also would like to see more commitment from my company's team involved in this project. I was kind of parachuted into this project and I don't have any direct reports, compared to my last job. This sort of posed another challenge as I have to get people to complete tasks for me while at the same time they are reporting to someone else. So far, I've not encountered so much problem on this and hope the support will continue. I do have a problem with regards to ownership and commitment. I see the users coming in during the weekends or going back late at night to complete tasks, and I wonder why we cannot match them in this case. Is it because of the lack of ownership to ensure your work area is completed? I suppose these are all the challenges that I need to manage in the coming days and weeks. Conflicts are bound to happen but as long everyone work together to complete the project, I'm sure we can be successful.
Just waiting for Friday to happen so that I can go back to see my wife and kids. :(
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Challenges of a 'Single' Mother
Awi seems to be having a bad day the past few days. Haziq has not been behaving himself. Always screaming, throwing things at his mother and the worst is kicking her sister. Looks like he's craving for attention. When Awi is feeding Hana, of course she cannot give much attention to Haziq and he seems not to be enjoying the 2nd class treatment. When I'm around at least I can also give some attention to him.
She doesn't sound so good over the phone and I think might be a bit depressed. There's not much that I can do in our current situation. I can only ask her to be patient and pray for my family wellbeing. Not sure how long she can handle this situation, if it doesn't get better. She might resort to taking unpaid leave or even quitting. But it is such a big loss to stop working, so that is a decision that needs to be thought of properly.
I do hate putting her in this situation and she is getting the worse deal. To her, this is the biggest challenge she has to undergo throughout our marriage so far. It's quite hard to give psychological support over the phone but the only consolation I can give her is that I'm relatively near and can at least travel to where she is within 5 hours. It's not like I'm half way around the world or something.
She doesn't sound so good over the phone and I think might be a bit depressed. There's not much that I can do in our current situation. I can only ask her to be patient and pray for my family wellbeing. Not sure how long she can handle this situation, if it doesn't get better. She might resort to taking unpaid leave or even quitting. But it is such a big loss to stop working, so that is a decision that needs to be thought of properly.
I do hate putting her in this situation and she is getting the worse deal. To her, this is the biggest challenge she has to undergo throughout our marriage so far. It's quite hard to give psychological support over the phone but the only consolation I can give her is that I'm relatively near and can at least travel to where she is within 5 hours. It's not like I'm half way around the world or something.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Dekat je Kerteh...
Planning to travel down to KL this afternoon. Kena start balik routine weekend husband lah. Tomorrow kerja one day in KL and then drive back to Kerteh after work. It's tiring but I really want to maximise time with my family and ensure that I don't miss too much of my children's growing up process. Most people kind of thought it's too far for me to drive to and fro each week but if it has to be done, then I have to do it. Awi is doing a lot looking after 2 children on her own for most of the time, I must do something as well, being the father. Also, don't want Hana not to recognise her own father, right? It's to devastating.
Anyway, the bag's all packed and I hope to get to work early tomorrow and do as much as possible within that one day. The project is at a crucial stage at the moment and there's a snag due to missing key information. Hope we can sort it all out tomorrow of find a solution to the problem.
Anyway, the bag's all packed and I hope to get to work early tomorrow and do as much as possible within that one day. The project is at a crucial stage at the moment and there's a snag due to missing key information. Hope we can sort it all out tomorrow of find a solution to the problem.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Absence of More Than A Year
Wow! It's been more than one year since I last put an entry to my blog. Based on the latest entry it was 31 Aug 2004. Fuyooh, so much had happened since then, I don't think it's possible to write them all in. Basically the key events:
- Awi gave birth to a lovely baby girl, Hana in November 2005, 2nd day Raya to be exact.
- Haziq is a sporting 2.5 year boy. Such an active boy and can really test your patience. But at the end of the day, he's such a lovable boy and you just can't help thinking that he's growing so quickly.
- I've been transferred to KL to handle a project under the same company. Word is that this is going to be a permanent move but at the moment, I have to travel to and fro Kerteh as Awi is still working and she won't be getting a transfer soon in the coming months, based on the speed that her company process such movement. However, I do pray that it's sooner rather than later since it sure sucks being away from the family for long periods of time. :(
Not sure what triggered me to restart blogging. Hehehe, am not even sure if this is a permanent start or just a splurt of motivation. A number of people have been asking me to update my blog, for various reasons. Awi, so that Hana will not be jealous since I wrote quite a lot on Haziq since he was a baby. My current boss or the person I'm reporting to for my project has also mentioned the same thing. Some of my friends, Am and Junai have also said something of that sorts.
Anyway, we'll see how long I can keep this up. What's with work, the travelling, nak melayan Haziq & Hana, not sure if I have the energy or time to do it. We as a family, are going through a migration of sorts, a Hijrah, a period of change. In my professional career, the last one year has all been about managing change. Suddenly being put in a managerial position of sorts, having many direct reports and dealing with senior management. It sure has been one hell of a ride but we managed to go through the rough patches as a team and I'm proud to see how some of the team members have matured and now handling hig level issues and direct reports themselves. However, as a family, this is also a challenge for us. For me to be a weekend husband, for Awi to look after 2 children most of the time (which I have to say she's doing a fabulous & wonderful job). Initially, we were quite scared of the unknown, contemplating of Awi to take unpaid leave, having to work & live in KL, basically uprooting our lives here in Kerteh. However, nothing happens without a reason. We've talked about moving to KL but never really put that into a schedule. This sorts of hits us in the face and force us to react and plan. I like to look at things positively and perhaps this is God's way of telling us to start reacting and planning. Of course, in the coming months, things won't get easier but Insyallah, we can overcome any obstacles. Allah has said that He won't give any challenges to his ummah of that they are not able to overcome. The most important thing is for us to do it together, talk of issues (of which there'll be for sure) and deal with them.
Just kind of terkilan of not able to see Hana grow up during these crucial months. Let's just hope it won't be for too long!!
Monday, August 30, 2004
Merdeka memories
The best memories I have on celebrating Merdeka was way back in Form 4 at my alma mater, Victoria Institution. That year, about 100 of Form 4 students were selected to be part of the Merdeka celebration to become the human formation of the Malaysian flag, National celebration logo and the slogan. That year it was a bit special because the formation was done at night so we had to dance with these colourful torches in our hands. Also, instead of being done at the Dataran Merdeka, that year it was at Stadium Merdeka. Initially, my class wasn't chosen to take part but after a lot of coaxing on our part, some of us managed to join in the fun. I do believe those were my best moments at secondary school.
We had to learn steps of simple dancing, which involves a lot of practice. After a while it was like 2nd nature to all of us. The fun really started when the combined training was done. I think about 20 schools in KL were involved. Hey, you need a lot of people to make up the National flag. Our colour was blue so we're really just a small part of the whole student troupe. I said it was fun because there were girls, and I mean a lot of them. Come on lah, we were Form 4, hormones was raging and VI is a boys school. So, you put all that into context lah. :)
The first training stage was at our school field. Second stage at Sekolah Menengah Cochrane and the final training was done at the venue itself, Stadium Merdeka. Ini lagi best lah. The training was done at night, so we all got permission to sleep at our school as the training ended quite late. (VI is just next to the stadium). So for about 3 or 4 nights, we all roamed the school. It wasn't very comfortable to sleep on hard wooden tables so we stayed up actually. We laid in the middle of the Quadrangle and sang Taman Rasyidah Utama. Some of us went to check out a happening disco at that time, Piccadilly but couldn't enter because we don't have enough money to pay the entrance fee. Lagi best, about 5 of us, climbed the wall surrounding the swimming pool and had a dip in there. Since it was dark at 2 am, I think we all just skinny dipped. Hehehehe, some of the things that were done during our youths.
The event went quite well, actually. The organising committee chairman, Sanusi Junid was happy with us and gave us extra pocket money. All in all, it was a lot of fun, I made many new friends and missed many days of classes. Also, it was quite a proud moment to be able to contribute albeit in that small manner. At least, if someone asks me what is the National Day motto in 1992, I could confidently say, Wawasan Asas Kemajuan, and I was part of the letter 'N' in Kemajuan!!
We had to learn steps of simple dancing, which involves a lot of practice. After a while it was like 2nd nature to all of us. The fun really started when the combined training was done. I think about 20 schools in KL were involved. Hey, you need a lot of people to make up the National flag. Our colour was blue so we're really just a small part of the whole student troupe. I said it was fun because there were girls, and I mean a lot of them. Come on lah, we were Form 4, hormones was raging and VI is a boys school. So, you put all that into context lah. :)
The first training stage was at our school field. Second stage at Sekolah Menengah Cochrane and the final training was done at the venue itself, Stadium Merdeka. Ini lagi best lah. The training was done at night, so we all got permission to sleep at our school as the training ended quite late. (VI is just next to the stadium). So for about 3 or 4 nights, we all roamed the school. It wasn't very comfortable to sleep on hard wooden tables so we stayed up actually. We laid in the middle of the Quadrangle and sang Taman Rasyidah Utama. Some of us went to check out a happening disco at that time, Piccadilly but couldn't enter because we don't have enough money to pay the entrance fee. Lagi best, about 5 of us, climbed the wall surrounding the swimming pool and had a dip in there. Since it was dark at 2 am, I think we all just skinny dipped. Hehehehe, some of the things that were done during our youths.
The event went quite well, actually. The organising committee chairman, Sanusi Junid was happy with us and gave us extra pocket money. All in all, it was a lot of fun, I made many new friends and missed many days of classes. Also, it was quite a proud moment to be able to contribute albeit in that small manner. At least, if someone asks me what is the National Day motto in 1992, I could confidently say, Wawasan Asas Kemajuan, and I was part of the letter 'N' in Kemajuan!!
Haziq's First Steps
Haziq took his first steps a couple of days ago. He just recovered from a long bout of fever and suddenly when we coaxed him to walk, he took those steps unassisted. Quite exciting, I have to say. Aiyo, after this he'll be running all over the place, I'm sure I'll be out of breath catching up with him.
Tomorrow is a holiday, Malaysia's National Day. This year, the celebration will be held in Kuantan, the first time ever in an East Coast city. I don't think we'll be watching the procession live this year as well, have never been actually, it's always on the idiot box or most of time, I just missed it. I won't claim I'm a patriotic person but I love it's history and I want it to be a better place to live in for my son. I really want to ask those flag waving people if they really know how Independence come about and the sacrifice made by our forefathers. As usual, they showed Sarjan Hassan again last night, the same thing year in year out, at this time of the year. Really gets boring after a while, even the film quality has badly deteriorated.
Like most people, we'll just enjoy the mid-week break, catch the KLCC Merdeka concert on Astro Ria and go to sleep before we're supposed to wait at the side of the road when midnight comes to shout 'Merdeka' 7 times. Gawd, some of the stupid things politicians said.
Tomorrow is a holiday, Malaysia's National Day. This year, the celebration will be held in Kuantan, the first time ever in an East Coast city. I don't think we'll be watching the procession live this year as well, have never been actually, it's always on the idiot box or most of time, I just missed it. I won't claim I'm a patriotic person but I love it's history and I want it to be a better place to live in for my son. I really want to ask those flag waving people if they really know how Independence come about and the sacrifice made by our forefathers. As usual, they showed Sarjan Hassan again last night, the same thing year in year out, at this time of the year. Really gets boring after a while, even the film quality has badly deteriorated.
Like most people, we'll just enjoy the mid-week break, catch the KLCC Merdeka concert on Astro Ria and go to sleep before we're supposed to wait at the side of the road when midnight comes to shout 'Merdeka' 7 times. Gawd, some of the stupid things politicians said.
Saturday, August 28, 2004
30 things that tell us we're Malaysians Read lah!
I, usually don't purchase NST but since Star wasn't at the newsstand yet yesterday morning, I resorted to buying a copy of NST. At least, I could read the weekly pullout on Football. An article, titled "30 things that tell us we're Malaysians Read lah!" was the main feature for the Youth Quake section. Since, Merdeka Day is just around the corner, there's a lot of articles about being Malaysians and what independence meant to us, bla bla bla. Just thought I'd share it with you all. :)
A Lot Has Happened
The Astro current tagline is "Macam macam Ada" or MMA. That kind of rings true for me as well as to what had happened since the last blog entry. At that time, I just came back from sending Awi and Haziq to Bidor. Later during that week, Awi then came down alone to KL to attend her training in Bangi. Haziq was left under the care of Awi's parents. At first, we all thought Haziq will cry his eyes out upon being left behind but he was just fine with his Atok & Opah actually. It was the mother (and the father a bit lah) that worried but nothing bad happened and my boy was fine and happy there, even making friends with cats, chickens and 2 Indian girls living in the neighbourhood.
Haziq was left in Bidor a three nights before we both came to take him down to KL. We joined Abah's company trip to A Famosa, Ayer Keroh. It was a lot of fun with Haziq playing at the water park, saw a lot of animals and basically chilling out with the whole Nik Farid Kamil clan. All of the five siblings joined in the trip including Razif, Razi and Iskandar. It's been sometime since we were able to join in family trips such as those, I think, this was the first since Adiknor got married.
We came back from Malacca on Sunday and the plan was to drive back to Kerteh on Monday. We did get some distance on the journey as the car broke down on the Karak highway. For some reason, the radiator cap came off and all the water had turned to steam causing for the engine to fail. It was a really distressing moment for me. I personally checked the radiator water level one week before embarking on the journey and it was fine. I'm sure I put the cap on really tight at that time. Anyway, what to do, we had to travel back to Bangsar with this good Samaritan and the car was left to be repaired. I was in a really foul mood because I've planned to go back and now everything had gone haywire. At that particular time, there's some sort of crisis at work as a virus was on the loose, a computer virus that is. I'm sure the boss wasn't that happy with me being in KL at that time and now having delayed my comeback, I don't suppose I'll be in his good books for some weeks.
The next day, we decided to borrow Adiknor's car since the repairs will take more than one day. (At the moment of writing, after 10 days, the car is still not ready). So we drove back and along the way, I succumbed to a bout of flu and was just glad to be back in Kerteh safely. My colleagues were working the night off to clear the virus from affected PCs but I just don't have the energy to join them.
Rightly so, the next day the boss kind of 'sindir2' me for being away while they had to face the crisis. I just make dumb je lah, what to do, certain things were just out of my powers. I can't be at the office all the time, right? The others just have to make do, I suppose. Nobody is indispensable, in my opinion.
Then a few days after coming home, Haziq got the fever, his body temperature shot up. We went to see a normal GP a couple of time, gave him the medicine but it was only short relief. Last Saturday, we brought him to see a paeditrician in Kuantan and he prescribed some antibiotic to Haziq. He felt fine for a few days then on Tuesday, his body became hot again and it won't come down even after we gave him the fever medicine. So on Wednesday, we went down to Kuantan again to see the doctor. He offered to ward him but we were not so keen to do that and so a stronger antibiotic was given. Alhamdulillah, after a few days, his body temperature is now back to normal and has remained for a couple of days.
Adiknor also experienced something unfortunate this week. She had a miscarriage on Tuesday and had to undergo a short operation to take out the feotus, if that is the right term, at 10 weeks old. I do feel pity for her and Razi because she was so excited about wanting a baby and I hope they'll try again. She'll be 24 this year and Insyallah, kalau ada rezeki, they'll have many babies in the future.
My newphew, Iskandar also got the same symptoms that Haziq experienced. Fever coming on and off, especially during the night. It's kind of worrying if there's some sort of virus going around. We've been calling it the Malacca since both of them got sick a few days after that trip. Maybe it's the hot weather or the late night at the Cowboy Town. Whatever it is, we should take caution in the future especially, like Haziq who had to travel every 3 days or so, average.
As I mentioned in the beginning, it sure has been a busy 3 weeks. There's a lot to be done at work as well, things are progressing reasonably but my team needs to be pushed further. It's a challenging environment and we need to prepare for what's to come.
Haziq was left in Bidor a three nights before we both came to take him down to KL. We joined Abah's company trip to A Famosa, Ayer Keroh. It was a lot of fun with Haziq playing at the water park, saw a lot of animals and basically chilling out with the whole Nik Farid Kamil clan. All of the five siblings joined in the trip including Razif, Razi and Iskandar. It's been sometime since we were able to join in family trips such as those, I think, this was the first since Adiknor got married.
We came back from Malacca on Sunday and the plan was to drive back to Kerteh on Monday. We did get some distance on the journey as the car broke down on the Karak highway. For some reason, the radiator cap came off and all the water had turned to steam causing for the engine to fail. It was a really distressing moment for me. I personally checked the radiator water level one week before embarking on the journey and it was fine. I'm sure I put the cap on really tight at that time. Anyway, what to do, we had to travel back to Bangsar with this good Samaritan and the car was left to be repaired. I was in a really foul mood because I've planned to go back and now everything had gone haywire. At that particular time, there's some sort of crisis at work as a virus was on the loose, a computer virus that is. I'm sure the boss wasn't that happy with me being in KL at that time and now having delayed my comeback, I don't suppose I'll be in his good books for some weeks.
The next day, we decided to borrow Adiknor's car since the repairs will take more than one day. (At the moment of writing, after 10 days, the car is still not ready). So we drove back and along the way, I succumbed to a bout of flu and was just glad to be back in Kerteh safely. My colleagues were working the night off to clear the virus from affected PCs but I just don't have the energy to join them.
Rightly so, the next day the boss kind of 'sindir2' me for being away while they had to face the crisis. I just make dumb je lah, what to do, certain things were just out of my powers. I can't be at the office all the time, right? The others just have to make do, I suppose. Nobody is indispensable, in my opinion.
Then a few days after coming home, Haziq got the fever, his body temperature shot up. We went to see a normal GP a couple of time, gave him the medicine but it was only short relief. Last Saturday, we brought him to see a paeditrician in Kuantan and he prescribed some antibiotic to Haziq. He felt fine for a few days then on Tuesday, his body became hot again and it won't come down even after we gave him the fever medicine. So on Wednesday, we went down to Kuantan again to see the doctor. He offered to ward him but we were not so keen to do that and so a stronger antibiotic was given. Alhamdulillah, after a few days, his body temperature is now back to normal and has remained for a couple of days.
Adiknor also experienced something unfortunate this week. She had a miscarriage on Tuesday and had to undergo a short operation to take out the feotus, if that is the right term, at 10 weeks old. I do feel pity for her and Razi because she was so excited about wanting a baby and I hope they'll try again. She'll be 24 this year and Insyallah, kalau ada rezeki, they'll have many babies in the future.
My newphew, Iskandar also got the same symptoms that Haziq experienced. Fever coming on and off, especially during the night. It's kind of worrying if there's some sort of virus going around. We've been calling it the Malacca since both of them got sick a few days after that trip. Maybe it's the hot weather or the late night at the Cowboy Town. Whatever it is, we should take caution in the future especially, like Haziq who had to travel every 3 days or so, average.
As I mentioned in the beginning, it sure has been a busy 3 weeks. There's a lot to be done at work as well, things are progressing reasonably but my team needs to be pushed further. It's a challenging environment and we need to prepare for what's to come.
Sunday, August 08, 2004
I Love the ECE!!
At last, after all these years of driving behind heavy lorries and facing unnecessary dangers due to overtaking, I can now enjoy what people on the West Coast had been experiencing all these years. Earlier this week, the long awaited East Coast Highway (Expressway) or ECE is now open for use between Karak and Kuantan. It's kind of a coincidence that I have to do a lot of travelling through and fro KL this week so I've had the opportunity to test out the new highway. And let me tell you that I am going to be the strongest supporter of this highway. It's so much better in many ways. No more tailing behind lorries or slow cars while awaiting for a chance to overtake. No more 90 km/h speed limit, it's 110 km/h all the way man!! Of course, I went up to 150 at times but it's just to test out the road and it's so tempting seeing the empty road in front of you. It's such a lovely and excellent experience. I did 4 hrs from Kerteh to KL the first time we drove down. Today, I did 5 hours from Bidor to Kerteh. Can you believe that? Usually, it would take me 8 hours to travel that distance via road. And it's not as stressful as well, in fact, I truly enjoyed to drive, which is something really rare for me.
I'm sure most people won't mind paying the toll because of all the hardship endured for so long. I hope the highway will also be a catalyst for economic activities in the 3 East Coast states. Logistics has always been a problem, hopefully after this, and also once the 2nd phase is completed, there won't be so much of a hassle to move things quickly here from KL or the West Coast.
I'm sure most people won't mind paying the toll because of all the hardship endured for so long. I hope the highway will also be a catalyst for economic activities in the 3 East Coast states. Logistics has always been a problem, hopefully after this, and also once the 2nd phase is completed, there won't be so much of a hassle to move things quickly here from KL or the West Coast.
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